Friday, October 29, 2004

Hellboy sighted....


This obviously Polish HellBoy has been seen in Vallejo California.. in recent weeks.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

I Caught Bigfoot!


So there had been rumors that, Bigfoot had been sighted in the cul de sac, late at night. Garbage cans tipped over, pets eaten, all the standard stuff. It was obviously Bigfoot in action.. Hell! How could it not be? This is the Pacific Northwest, after all! Home turf, so they say. I was a very young spud, the one and only time I crossed one's trail.. The smell! Arrrgh.. the smell. Dirty sweat sock smell with moss and shit, thrown in. Because of this chance encounter is why they called me, RicTresa.. Graphic Designer/Bigfoot Catcher and Chief Bottle Washer... Plus, I lived right in the center of ground zero, (location, location, location.)

I figured with all that hair on it's body it would be fairly easy to catch if I could make a SUPER-DUPER GIANT FLYPAPER TRAP, (something along those lines.) Using my good pal Red Green as an inspiration I ran a massive amount of duct tape, (sticky side out) between two trees... A sack full of bologna and liverwurst sandwiches hung from a rope, high off the ground finishing the whole trap off with a wrap of Christmas bells to serve as a, "We got ya!" alarm.

A Shot of the Crow, for confidence and I hunkered down by the BBQ to wait.... Another shot of the Crow... for warmth and another for that shooting star that just shot across the sky.. and another for that damn old cat....Annnnd annnother fer the HELL of it! Pretty quick I must have dozed off because I was shaken from my dreams by the sound of some cussing the likes of which would make a long shoreman weep with despair.... Christmas bells ringing! I had him! Up I jumped, Louisville Slugger to the leg, one to the head and the fight was over. Got his big ass in the wheel barrow and into the house he went. Into the shower I dumped him... 14 packages of disposable razors and some of my clothes later.. I took a picture and offer this as proof to you all....

He ain't too bad, all cleaned up.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Shaken not Stirred...

1955 Cocktail shaker

This evening Theresa came home with a box from the Post Office, for me from my cousin Chris, (Haven't heard from him in nearly 40 years.) In it was a birthday card from him and his wife.. pictures of them and their daughter, husband and daughter..... And wrapped so carefully was the Cocktail shaker pictured above..... He said it was his mothers, (she never drank in her life) and he knew how much she meant to me and how much he really missed her and that he knew I must feel the same and he wanted me to have it because it had sat in the family room of his home for years, when he was a kid and he wanted me to know that it wasn't just a cocktail shaker, it had some real... family embedded into it.. Happy birthday cousin.

I went from wanting to shoot my self in the head to feeling pretty good. Family to the rescue.

And the beat goes on..............

Yeah Baby!

8 Ball Logic
Yeah well... I guess I have a fucked up mood today. Get over it.

Monday, October 11, 2004

My Birthday...

Over the hill potty night light

My wife... my sweet little.. devious wife. I should have known something was up when she gave me a present this morning, wrapped in the funny papers... "Happy birthday sweetie," she said with a evil grin. Nice color... piss yellow. Couple things wrong with the whole concept though. 1st and foremost... The seat is NEVER left up in this household and number two... If I can't see to hit the water, what makes her so sure I can see the switch, to turn the sucker on.

This HAD to have been invented by a woman :0)

Sunday, October 10, 2004

A Birthday Memorial...

Born on my birthday, when I was a young lad of 15....

My nephew Derek, lived life in the fastlane from begining to end. Made some bad choices in his life, (some good) and his luck came to an end... Bandito to the end. You left us to soon buddy and I wish things could have been different.

Till' we meet again.. Uncle Ric

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Slowly he turns.....

I created this dude to be my, Spirit Warrior. What's cool about this guy is he only travels via dream waves and he only targets lawyers. He lives under their beds and lurks in the closet waiting for the light to go out. The last thing the attorney sees, before his head is seperated from his body, is the razor edge of this ax, glinting from the street light as it arcs to his doom.

I should have added that the inspiration for this graphic.... I was still a little ticked off because my attorney had recently screwed me out of $60,000.00...... If you hire an attorney make sure you understand ALL of the fees he charges BEFORE you sign the contract. I found out, (the hard way) they will charge you 400 bucks an hour, copy machine charge... That is 400 dollars every time they copy stuff for you.. Now maybe you can understand my state of brain..

Bunch of layers and technical stuff, too many to list here.

Friday, October 08, 2004

Roller Derby Is Back....

Sitting in the library this morning, reading a 4 day old paper and found that Roller Derby is making a comeback!! YAY! YIPPIE! YAHOOOO!!!!! It would be an understatement to say I really dig, Roller Derby..

When I was a youngspunckster, one of the highlights of my year was when the Roller Derby would come and skate at our town fair. Our team was out of San Francisco and they were called, "The Bay Area Bombers.." The men's team captain was a cat named, Charley O'Connell.. Tougher than tough, bad boy of the boards... Sharing the spot-light with an equal tough chick, ladies captain by the name of, Joanne Weston. When they would come to town it seemed they were always skating against the dreaded, LA Thunderbirds... (they would poke and gouge and abuse at random as soon as the ref was looking the other way. Man it was pandemonium, at times. Charley-O would take off his helmet and crack some bird in the head and the fight was on.... Or, there was always an open spot in the rail for the skaters to enter onto or off of the track and the Thunderbirds were notorious for forcing another teams player, through this gap usually at top speed.. In the stands the popcorn would fly as we all would jump to our feet, screaming, "Open your goddamn eyes Ref!"

Everybody would stomp their feet in unison as an audible way for our beloved Bombers to hear our love and support.

Even to this day, (42 years later) I can picture the roller rink, set up in the middle of the stock yard... hard as sin, wooden bleachers. Summer sun beating down, the smell of cotton candy and corn dogs, (and manure) wafting in the air... Drinking Coca-Cola in wax paper Dixie cups, white paper cups with a row or red hearts around the rim, (would always leave flakes of wax floating in the coke.) You could hear the screams from the girlies getting their world rocked on the, Hammer, (the operators would always stop you upside down and shake the shit out of you, trying to get the change in your pockets to fall down to the ground, (some kind of a tip I suppose.) One time my dad had a pretty good heat on and rode the hammer.. The operator, lost his mind and stranded dad upside down.. making a little sport of the, "drunk" he had on high. Shook the hell out of the car trying to dislodge my fathers stomach, he didn't... but he wasn't prepared for the ass whipping he received when the old man touched down.. A right, then left and a, "I'm very sorry sir... I won't ever do that again," from the guy and then off to the arena for..... "ROLLER DERBY!!!!!!!!!!"

Fuck, I really miss those by gone days. I guess this is what being an old guy is all about. Full of a bunch of, remember when's.

Now this morning, much to my delight I find Roller Derby is making a comeback. Look in my sidebar, down by the clock to find the link.


Tuesday, October 05, 2004


Quite possibly the funniest damn thing I've seen yet, this year. TRY IT *LINK HERE*


I found this in tonights paper...

A man in India has announced he will attempt to get into the Guiness World Book of Records by running a live cobra snake through his nose and out through his mouth. He claims he's been practicing with a garden snake.....

What I'm wondering is.... Was he just sitting around one day, picking his teeth and suddenly realized he was poking himself in the eye? What would make a person even FIND OUT he could do something like this and what did the garden snake think, the first time, (or 51st)?

Sunday, October 03, 2004


So, my eyes pop open, in the middle of the night and I'm staring at the ceiling, wondering why in the hell I was awake when I hear someone clear their throat.. I look down past my feet and I see my mom standing there. Pretty trippy.. Good to see her again, since she passed into the great by and by 8 years ago.. Journeyed to where, "the woodbine twinethed.."

So anyhow.. I'm looking at her... she is looking back then she says, "I shoulda got a dog instead."


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha..... Sleep, beautiful, gloria-us.... Sleeeeeeeeep!

Saturday, October 02, 2004

The Plot Thickens..

Low Life People

Up until a couple years ago, the county I live in was Number One, in the nation, for Meth Labs. Now we are 6th. The meth freaks are a real problem up here.. So bad they cook their meth while they drive around in their cars. Yeah! No fooling. A couple of years ago this chick ran her car off the side of the road and bounced off a tree. She pulled herself out of her car with only one thing on her mind. Save her meth cooking in her trunk, didn't matter she was busted up pretty good herself, blood everywhere. Witnesses saw her grab a cardboard box out of her car trunk and stumble off into the woods, only to reappear back on the road making tracks for home. The paramedics passed her, slammed on their brakes and chased her down. The cops came and followed her blood trail into the woods and found her meth still cooking away in the woods, where she stashed it...

Tis' a bad trip....

Which brings us to this moment... I just wasn't sleeping worth a shit, this morning. Theresa woke me up with some nasty cramps in her foot, (3am) and I just couldn't get back into deep-sleep.. Just jerks and starts ending when I got up at 4:48am.

I walked down the hallway and into the living room without turning on the lights and looked out my front window.. to check the world out. I live in a cul de sac, the place directly across from me is inhabited by some questionable people, (I know for a fact one is a thief because I have pictures of her in action.) They have a dirt drive way and I see what I thought was their big ass dog, (German sheppard/chow.) Only, something wasn't right.. The proportions didn't seem correct. It was dark and I don't see as good as I used to so.. I opened the front door and walked out to the gate to get a better look.

I might point out the fact that it was in the upper 30s, this morning.. And as I get to the gate I realize this is a person, laying in the dirt, in the fetal position, (trying to stay warm I suppose.) I must have taken him by surprise because up he sits and starts mumbling about how people wouldn't mind their own business.. Gets up, stands up, dusting himself off and made a quick bee line to his casa....

These people are Tweakers if I've never seen them before.

Happy-happy, Joy-joy... To be continued I am sure.