Tuesday, October 26, 2004

I Caught Bigfoot!


So there had been rumors that, Bigfoot had been sighted in the cul de sac, late at night. Garbage cans tipped over, pets eaten, all the standard stuff. It was obviously Bigfoot in action.. Hell! How could it not be? This is the Pacific Northwest, after all! Home turf, so they say. I was a very young spud, the one and only time I crossed one's trail.. The smell! Arrrgh.. the smell. Dirty sweat sock smell with moss and shit, thrown in. Because of this chance encounter is why they called me, RicTresa.. Graphic Designer/Bigfoot Catcher and Chief Bottle Washer... Plus, I lived right in the center of ground zero, (location, location, location.)

I figured with all that hair on it's body it would be fairly easy to catch if I could make a SUPER-DUPER GIANT FLYPAPER TRAP, (something along those lines.) Using my good pal Red Green as an inspiration I ran a massive amount of duct tape, (sticky side out) between two trees... A sack full of bologna and liverwurst sandwiches hung from a rope, high off the ground finishing the whole trap off with a wrap of Christmas bells to serve as a, "We got ya!" alarm.

A Shot of the Crow, for confidence and I hunkered down by the BBQ to wait.... Another shot of the Crow... for warmth and another for that shooting star that just shot across the sky.. and another for that damn old cat....Annnnd annnother fer the HELL of it! Pretty quick I must have dozed off because I was shaken from my dreams by the sound of some cussing the likes of which would make a long shoreman weep with despair.... Christmas bells ringing! I had him! Up I jumped, Louisville Slugger to the leg, one to the head and the fight was over. Got his big ass in the wheel barrow and into the house he went. Into the shower I dumped him... 14 packages of disposable razors and some of my clothes later.. I took a picture and offer this as proof to you all....

He ain't too bad, all cleaned up.


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